Day 4 Post 2nd AC Chemo

I woke up with a little pain on my back and no nausea.  So that was a plus.  I have been shedding and my scalp is hurting near my neck.  Today is going to be a good day.  I told my son we are going to go to the zoo.  Then it's my time to shower.  I locked the bedroom door so that I could mourn my hair by myself if it's coming off in chunks.  Unfortunately, my husband had a problem with me locking the door, he said I might fall down.  Sometimes I just want to keep this hair problem all to myself.  It's a fucking a hair it will grow back.  But I was a mess.  We argued about the locked door.  Even though i know deep down it wasn't about the locked door, I just wanted to lashed out someone.  I was glad I drove my mom today to my uncle's house or I would've lashed at her too.  I was mad I have Cancer, that I'm going thru chemo and I hated the side effects.  Well, the Cancer got the best out of me today.  These chunks of hair coming out after showering is making me emotional.  Fuck it's hair it's going to grow back.  I felt terrible to the way I acted towards my husband today.  I hate being so emotional like this.