Today the dog woke me up at 230 am … he wanted to go pee outside. I went down with him and when I went back to bed I couldn’t sleep … I was restless tossing and turning. Is it because I have to see my breast surgeon in the morning. I tried to force myself to sleep and then it worked. During my sleep I had weird dreams. First my dog pug scratched himself bloody and when I said I don’t want to go to the vet he threw up . Then another scene had set it to my dream. My husbands friends are downstairs ready to party for Greg’s bday. Then my dream jumped to my cousins Ronnel and his wife Kristina telling me that their place is not a good place where they bought the house …as they were telling me this somehow the girl is turning bald and saying I don’t know my hair just fell off… and then another guy I knew before already dead saying he is going to Cathay pacific and I was like yah like the plane? Then I woke up to an alarm to get stuff readyto for my sons school.
1055 I got to the clinic 11 am I was called and then my heart rate just kept increasing I don’t have any thoughts but it was just increasing in the 90s the na dr student came in and ask a few questions which raised my heart rate up more to 115bpm… I think it s the way on how she asked it …then she left and I was trying to make my heart rate go down. It only went down down to 90s … after an hour the dr wapnir came in and ask how I’m doing I said same stuff as before… I don’t really know what to say . She checked me and said oh I don’t need to see you anymore. I felt sad and happy at the same time. It feels like a graduation… like are you really going to make me fly free? In my head I’m like are you sure but I didn’t want to say it out loud and be weak. I asked more questions about recurrences and told her that my brain cells are kinda back and might be scared that other I don’t want to be back might be back but she assured me my mammo looks good so I said alright that sounds good to end things… she held my cold hands and said it has been a pleasure to be on your blah blah team …. And I said thank you I was just lost for words words all I can say is thank you … you did great … then she said that’s why momeni gives me a hard time when I make my flap thin… as they left the room I should’ve ask for a photo with her… but too late now … As I get out of the parking lot there’s a car infront of me who can’t pay his parking then a woman behind said I’ll pay for him some of us have to work on time… what a nice lady…
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