Brain fog at worst

I'm 2 years out post chemo.  Yet I find myself very forgetful.  I write stuff down but if i don't see those notes pop up.  Then I won't know.  Last sept 2019, I took a Spanish class to make sure that I can retain things.  And I did, I got an A.  It was hard trying to convince myself not forget those new words and how they work in a sentence.  With this experience I thought my brain is fine back to normal.  But recently 4 days ago, my mom told me to put the clothes in the dryer when it's done in the washer.  I said yes, how hard can it be.  It should be done in 1 hr.  I could hear her going down the stairs and I just remembered that I forgot to do it.  Option 1, race to the dryer before she gets down or Option 2, get frustrated that I forgot again and stay where I'm at.  Well, I picked option 2 and I got a lecture on how I'm irresponsible.  That hit a nerve but I just brushed it off.
Then yesterday another incident, I had earphones laying on the ground.  My husband walked by it and said "what are your earphones doing here".  I replied it must've fallen off from my laptop.  He told me to pick it up.  I said OK, in my head I'll pick it up when I get up.  Well, I walked by probably 2 or 3 times, that's what he said and I didn't pick it up.  He got frustrated and said was I just doing it out of spite not picking it up.  I don't want to blame it on my brain but I really did it forget.  Like it just fell off the list in my brain that I needed to do.  I don't know i just got so defensive of this flaw of mine.  It sucks I didn't intend it to forget but I did.  I don't know what to do, sometimes my brain is ok sometimes it's not.  How do i make sure I won't forget this short term things to do. Very frustrated at times.  Some of my friends and cousins say they're forgetful too but mine is kind of worst or maybe it's the same. I don't know how can my forgetfulness not the same but they do better at it.  I think I can overcome this if word hard as much as remembering...

dream oct 20 2019

I message my PS today. 
I had a dream last night. My surgeon and were on a table and she's talking to another person.  She said she needed a ride because feliz natividad can't pick her up at the airport.  In my head i think i can pick you up but I don't know what time so I didn't speak up. I woke up.

Silicone Scar Sheets

Yesterday, I asked my Plastic surgeon's NP what can I do with my thick scars on my belly and bellybutton.  She mentioned buying silicone scar sheets to help lessen the thick scars.  Today I bought Scar Away and put them on.  I should've cut them in half.   I also bought Scar Out, according to the forums it's better. 

vent

Only vent: I'm(was) a computer Engr.(nerd alert). I've done apps before...I'm building something this month for personal application. I've done this procedure before over and over again back in college years. This morning i'm ready to start the process but somehow the routine is not sticking in my brain. How could i forget this? And here i thought brain fog only affects new memories.... So very frustrating.... I bought pink boxing gloves last month and i just want to go to the gym and hit that punching bag.... Vent done...Thank You

A new milestone

Today I woke up and I got up by myself.  Didn't need help from my mom getting pulled out of the bed.

Nov 16 was my 2nd Dose Dense Taxol

Nov 16 -
I met with Onco's intern or assistant and was asked which is better AC or Taxol.  I said they're both the same I don't like it.  Then she told me she will lower my brenadryl dosage since i did great last Taxol infusion.  Then I said what...!? No........  She said we normally lower brenadryl dosage after not having allergic reaction to Taxol on 2nd infusion.  So I said OK.  Then grabbed a quick bite before infusion.

I checked in to the infusion center and here we go again.  I was given the steroids and benadryl to start off.  After awhile nurse came back with Taxol and she hooked it up.  Then the infusion machine kept beeping more than 5x.  So the nurse transferred my tube to another port but it kept beeping and she kept bypassing it.  All of a sudden, I felt something in my tummy like it pulsated once then I thought there's something stuck in my throat so I tried to cough it up once.  I was gasping for air like i was drowning.  Then 5 to 7 nurses came all at once asking me questions.  Does my back hurt I said No, it's my tummy. I told them my face started getting hot.  And then the other nurse gave me oxygen to breath in and oh that felt great.  Then I saw a bag of benadryl get hook up.  I started getting droggy and sleepy.   The nurses contacted my Onco and was told to re try.  Taxol was retried and thankfully I'm Ok again.  Those nurses were awesome, I thought i was going to die.
After getting infused.  I was so hungry and got some hummus at the Oren's shop.

Nov 17 - Today I felt great that I scooted to pick up my son.  Then went to a movie.  I started getting tired but not so much so I went with my hubby and son to toysrus.  After coming home I just felt it, I was tired.

Nov 18 - Bone pain came on from Neulesta back.  That one felt like I went snowboarding for the first day of the season and didn't stretch.

Nov 2 was my first Taxol

Nov 2 - I met with my NP Onco and I was told im going to get bone pain on Sat on top of my Neulesta bone pain.  I also inquired about surgery on when will it be.  Then off I go to get infuse, so I was infused with Taxol.  Nurse Arturo was great.  I didn't get any allergic reaction. 

Nov 3 - I was fine.  Energy is good.

Nov 4 - Day time was fine just regular bone pain from Neulesta.  Then night fall came and my legs started hurting so bad.  It felt like toothache on my legs.  From my knees to ankles, it hurts so bad I couldn't sleep and it was pulsing also.  I took Codon to relieve the pain, but i guess it took an hour to take effect.  It just made me feel sleepy after an hour but it still hurts.

Nov 5-8 - Pain Days - It hurts so bad today.  I tried taking  5mg THC gummies to relieve the pain.  It did work but my tummy felt off from it.  I guess too much thc i can't tolerate.  Next time try a blend of cbd and thc.  I take thc gummies for day time just staying home.  Then at night i take Codon to make sleep.  As days passes by the pain is not as bad as on Sat night, it is getting lesser pain.

Nov 9 - No more pain. Yay pain is gone.

Nov 10 - I got a massage, I needed it so bad.

Taxol pain sucks, I gotta find a good blend of cbd/thc for pain pronto.